I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
