theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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