Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
