Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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