$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
