Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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