you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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