12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
