fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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