I swear she didn't look like that last week.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
