The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
