Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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