Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I met the friendliest cop last night
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Randomize
