I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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