Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
