Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
