Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
