It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
