my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
