I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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