I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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