Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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