Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
