My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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