Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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