just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
