you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
