What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
