Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
