Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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