I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
