My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
