me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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