I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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