I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
