What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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