We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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