At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
