Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
