I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
