I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
