I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
