just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This is the high leading the old right now
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
