he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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