So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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