By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
