I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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