It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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