You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Will exercising make me less horny?
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