he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
