Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
